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+--- Thread: Man Arrested for Sex With Cow (/showthread.php?tid=174)
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Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - heavyhorse - 06-10-2020
USA TODAY
FAIR GROVE, Mo. — Authorities spent six weeks investigating a case of a man having sex with a cow and decided last week to charge a 68-year-old man with unlawful sex with an animal.
The woman who owned the cow walked into her barn the evening of June 10 after seeing a car that she could not identify parked near it. When she stepped inside, she told police that she found a naked man, later identified as Darrell Helton of Nixa, Mo., standing behind one of her cows trying to have sex with it.
Helton allegedly told Greene County sheriff's deputies that he went to the property in Fair Grove, about 15 miles northwest of Springfield in the southwest corner of the state; caught a cow; tied it to the corral; and tried to have sex with it. He said it was the second time he had engaged in sex acts with a cow on that property.
Unlawful sex with an animal is a Class A misdemeanor punishable by up to one year behind bars.
Helton does not appear to have been jailed and has no lawyer listed for this case. The News-Leader was unable to reach Helton for comment using phone numbers listed for him in online records.
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OK, yeah.
But here's the part that arouses my, um, curiosity: It's the midwest; there's more cows than people in a lot of places. Why drive for an hour instead of walking to the neighbor's?
I'm not so much interested in the guy, but I'd sure like to see the cow that he went the distance for. More than once.
Like maybe:?
![[Image: 5ee15713c4a57_ScreenShot2020-06-10at4_41...fa48ad.png]](https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_06/5ee15713c4a57_ScreenShot2020-06-10at4_41_32PM.png.6763ec61f188e9814663054caafa48ad.png)
Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - Oregon - 06-11-2020
Nice cow pix !
I do feel sad for the guy, never nice to see one of our own (?) be caught for doing what comes naturally. Yeah, he may have been foolish, and I don't know the backstory, but never the press we want, or this guy ever dreamt would come his way.
Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - WinterGreenWolf - 06-11-2020
This is why we shouldn't be careless folks. This is also why (irregardless of whom it pisses off...) I say, stick to your own, or that of a good friend. Non humans you know, love, trust, etc.. and quit hopping fences for a quick nut, it's not worth it.
I don't really feel sorry for the guy, at least not terribly so, because it was his own idiocy, and carelessness, to which he owes his fate. I may have some, interesting... topics to cover in a General Discussion thread regarding some interesting topics at some point too.
Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - heavyhorse - 06-12-2020
OH I totally agree. Fencehopping is a fool's errand, causes grief to the guy and all of the rest of us by association. Arrests are not uncommon either. The thing that I wondered about is what it was about that particular cow that made the guy go to such lengths of distance and risk.
Quote:
On 6/11/2020 at 4:43 AM, Oregon said:
Nice cow pix !
Not mine, just a lovely example. From the Genitalia Section.
Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - WinterGreenWolf - 06-13-2020
Quote:
19 hours ago, heavyhorse said:
OH I totally agree. Fencehopping is a fool's errand, causes grief to the guy and all of the rest of us by association. Arrests are not uncommon either. The thing that I wondered about is what it was about that particular cow that made the guy go to such lengths of distance and risk.
'Tis a good question Mr. Horse. I'd be a little curious myself honestly. It'd be like me driving three hours for one Labrador Stud. Of course, labs aren't really 100% my thing, but you get the example.
Everyone has their endeared / beloved, but why not try to meet someone a little closer in this instance?
Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - silverwolf1 - 06-13-2020
Yeah, well, not "one of our own" in my opinion, just another bestialist looking to get off at someone else's expense. Why drive an hour for it? Not because of the cow, because you aren't known as well an hour away. That kind of broken logic, used over and over again by these types. Fence-hopping gets you caught, eventually. Big deal, you do it, you deserve to be in my opinion.Animals get endangered by fence-hoppers attempting intercourse with them, animals get destroyed when clueless owners find out a human had sex with them. I have no pity for him.
sw
Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - threelegs - 06-15-2020
He was doing it wrong ...
https://www.best-poems.net/e-e-cummings/the-way-to-hump-a-cow-is-not.html
Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - heavyhorse - 06-15-2020
Quote:
11 hours ago, threelegs said:
He was doing it wrong ...
https://www.best-poems.net/e-e-cummings/the-way-to-hump-a-cow-is-not.html
Interesting. I have to agree, and to disagree.
The way to hump a cow is definitely to push and then to pull. Copper ions notwithstanding, sticking a penny in and bellowing is not advised, it will attract unwanted attention.....
But the way to hump a cow is not to get yourself a stool. Get your own mini-cow so she's the right height to keep your feet firmly on the ground.
"Uncle Henry looked over at his nephew standing a few feet away. As expected he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Flashing his trademark grin at the lad, he gave him a 'Thumbs up' sign and said. "And THAT'S how you fuck a cow."
Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - littlejohn - 06-15-2020
As someone said, the way to hump a cow - or anyone else is to hump your cow, or a friend's with permission. Remember, if you have to tie it up to fuck it, it's rape.
Man Arrested for Sex With Cow - heavyhorse - 06-15-2020
Quote:
5 hours ago, heavyhorse said:
"Uncle Henry looked over at his nephew standing a few feet away. As expected he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Flashing his trademark grin at the lad, he gave him a 'Thumbs up' sign and said. "And THAT'S how you fuck a cow."
Credit: zoowg.org/topic/231-space-sheep/
Just to be clear......