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+--- Thread: Dreams of an Animal (/showthread.php?tid=615)
Dreams of an Animal - Cynolove693 - 12-05-2017
Just curious as to how many people here have frequent dreams of animals? They don't have to be sexual dreams or anything like that, I have dreams of my soulmate all the time; this morning I dreamt that he was with me all cuddled up to me, it felt so real, I almost forgot how happy being with him made me feel, I mean I could physically feel him against me in the dream, and also feel the emotions and contentment of him just being there.. that is until I woke up and came back to the reality of things..
It almost makes me wish I could just sleep and live in my dreams, but I know thats not possible..
It doesn't help that it's been a year since I've got to cuddle him or hold him in my arms, it makes me miss and long for him even more.. seems the only way we can be together is in a dream, sadly...
That reality is depressing in all honesty
Dreams of an Animal - silverwolf1 - 12-05-2017
I dream of Shadow and of Tippy all the time. I know they are gone, but at night I can hold them again. I also dream of animals I've never met, sometimes sexual, sometimes not. I dream of many of the horses I've owned over the decades of my life, and some I barely know. I dream more, honestly, of animals than of people these days, mostly my dead lovers, but always of non-humans. I dream frequently of my spirit, a shaggy, old gray wolf, rather than my human self and often lay with my lovers this way.
We cannot separate the night from the day, will not divide our hope from our dreams. Our love, I believe, transcends all dimensions, even the Dream world...
sw
Dreams of an Animal - egoldstein - 12-06-2017
They're as common in my dreams as anything else, which seems logical considering they're an integral part of every day life for me.
Dreams of an Animal - Cynolove693 - 12-07-2017
Quote:
On 12/5/2017 at 6:24 PM, silverwolf1 said:
I dream of Shadow and of Tippy all the time. I know they are gone, but at night I can hold them again. I also dream of animals I've never met, sometimes sexual, sometimes not. I dream of many of the horses I've owned over the decades of my life, and some I barely know. I dream more, honestly, of animals than of people these days, mostly my dead lovers, but always of non-humans. I dream frequently of my spirit, a shaggy, old gray wolf, rather than my human self and often lay with my lovers this way.
We cannot separate the night from the day, will not divide our hope from our dreams. Our love, I believe, transcends all dimensions, even the Dream world...
sw
I see myself as a wolf in dreams also but not all the time, I've always felt my spirit isn't that of a human though.. that last part was inspiring honestly it opens my eyes to the true meaning of all this, these dreams are a message, deep down my heart is telling me what I need; also I can relate to the longing to have a loved one in your arms, love can hurt at times but it is truly a blessing and a beautiful thing
Dreams of an Animal - silverwolf1 - 12-07-2017
I wouldn't pass up this hurt for anything, though it tried to take my life. It means I loved, and loved deeply...
sw
Dreams of an Animal - Cynolove693 - 12-08-2017
Quote:
4 hours ago, silverwolf1 said:
I wouldn't pass up this hurt for anything, though it tried to take my life. It means I loved, and loved deeply...
sw
I totally understand as I've felt that way, what matters is we both had the courage to keep on going, even when it seemed all hope was lost.. that in itself is a very difficult thing to do...
Dreams of an Animal - egoldstein - 12-08-2017
Quote:
5 hours ago, silverwolf1 said:
I wouldn't pass up this hurt for anything, though it tried to take my life. It means I loved, and loved deeply...
sw
Yeah, for as much as the suck really, really sucks, it doesn't negate the, hopefully far more numerous, good and content times, at least not for me. Also, you're not alone.
Dreams of an Animal - zootrashcan - 12-08-2017
I do frequently have dreams about animals, but since they're dreams they tend to be, well, off. Even with lucid dreaming skills things like weird anatomy, unwanted elements, and just general awkwardness happen frequently.
Dreams of an Animal - 30-30 - 12-08-2017
Well, here´s what I can contribute to the topic of dreams...
Once I had a very vivid dream of being a horse. I remember that I dreamt of galloping fast or fighting with another horse, can´t remember it exactly...but when I woke up full of adrenaline, heart pounding like hell, I noticed that one of my feet hurt like hell. And when I turned on the light, I saw a fucking hole in the cardboard wall behind my bed. One that wasn´t there the evening before...I must´ve had such a vivid dream of being a horse that I kicked in the wall during sleep....
I had these weird dreams of me being a horse since my puberty. I never identified myself as a furry, an anthro or a therian ´cause I am a rather down to earth guy who knows he is a human. This special form of escapism that is one big fundament of these three communities I mentioned never appealed to me in any way. But the dreams in which I was a horse (to be precise, a grey one with white dots...we Germans call them Apfelschimmel btw...) kept occurring at least once every week. Everytime I woke up soaked in my own sweat, feeling rather uncomfortable and "warped". During my teens and twens, these dreams intensified, sometimes in frequency (I remember a week I stayed awake on purpose for two days to avoid the terrible awakenings), sometimes in intensity...I once managed to shatter one of my glass vitrines by falling into the glass door because my "biped consciousness" failed to "boot up" quickly enough after waking up. I still wonder how I made it out of that pile of sharp shards alive and uninjured...
These dreams never were an "enrichment" for me, they were and still are a burden. Waking up after one of my "digitigrade dreams" still gives me the creeps because it feels like two worlds heavily colliding with each other. Luckily I managed to find some relief....when I started to smoke pot around the age of 18, I noticed that pot reliably subdues dreams. You fall into a rather dreamless sleep that is, much to my joy, refreshing opposed to my "horse dreams" that always left me behind shattered and stressed out. It´s not a pleasure, I can tell you...Nonetheless, whenever I stop smoking for a couple of days, these special dreams come back, sometimes with massive psychical impact. When I have "human dreams" , they often come in "omnicolour" and are identifiable as dreams...when I have one of my "horse dreams", it´s this strange Daguerrot colour set which I assume is owed to the way horses see. Perceived movements in these dreams are sharper while the "background" blurs out, a strange kind of a "being sucked in" effect...well, today , with all my knowledge about horses, I can find "reasons", but can you imagine how I felt when I lacked this knowledge and still had the same strange dreams? I remember questioning myself , asking if I am or go insane because I had these dreams, dreams that no one else seemed to have...today, I made my peace with this phenomenon. I know that this is the price I have to pay for what I am. It´s still frightening sometimes, though...weird, disconnected from my everyday experiences and starngely "more real than reality"...
Besides that, I frequently dream of my mare, my longtime partner, my soulmate. In my human dreams, I often see her, I dreamt of her and me meeting on a quiet pasture, her head resting on my shoulder, frimly pressed against her body. I can sense her scent, that one horse scent I probably will recognise amng millions of other horse scents. I hear her whinny and grunt, another thing I will recognise forever, I guess. Sometimes , she is so present, so real in these dreams that I wake up and immediately start crying. I know this is the price I have to pay for the infinite love we both felt for each other and even if I will suffer from Alzheimer´s one day when I get old, I may forget MY name, my relatives and my life...but I will never forget her´s , her scent, her personality and her life. Chances are high that the last word that will come across my lips in this life will be her name...
Dreams of an Animal - RocketDog - 12-09-2017
Dreams or...?
I cannot recall ever being an animal in my dreams bar one occasion, many years ago after I'd seen the video clip for Snoop Dogg's "What's My Name" for the first time (fuck I feel old!). CGI morphing was quite new at the time (I think) and the image of a Snoop morphing into a Doberman was indelibly burned into my brain...that night I had a really, really vivid dream of morphing into a large dog, running with my pack and...umm...the rest of that story is best left to your imagination!
Erotic dreams are quite rare for me though when they do occur I am invariably (with the previously noted exception)...me, a plain boring old human, human hands, feet, arms and legs...and yes "those" bits are human as well...but man oh man, the dogs! Never anyone else present but male canines, some I've known but many more I wish were real!
That's the good part...now, I really don't want what follows to be a life story but I'm not sure how else to tell the tale of my dreams so...I dunno, if it's too long and looks boring don't read it yeah?
The other dreams started when my first partner was about six years old, he'd had a particularly bad start to his life. I "adopted" him aged two years, but his misspent youth was catching up with him big time, we were on a first name basis with everyone in the local vet surgery and quite a few specialists as well. We suspected he'd suffered some sort of spinal trauma during his previous life (which was proving very hard to pinpoint) and this in turn led to multiple episodes where he was in so much pain that he'd fall to the ground screaming, half paralysed and biting anything non human/canine within reach. It was truly horrific to see a loved one going through that and he has my eternal respect as despite basically trashing everything around him while it was happening - on one occasion he took out a seatbelt in one bite despatched his car harness in the same manner then basically destroyed the back seat of my car in the space of a few seconds, complete with teeth marks in several pieces of steel - he still allowed me to comfort him as much as I could and move/restrain him so he wouldn't injure himself. The noises he would make, the most bone chilling screams, still ring in my ears to this day. Thankfully these episodes lasted less than a minute at a time often with many months between them where he'd seem, and indeed was, perfectly fine.
Quite soon after the first of those episodes I started having dreams , rapidly increasing in frequency from three to four then five nights a week, dreams that he was gone. The pain in those dreams was just...unimaginable, I wasn't just upset - I was the one screaming and screaming and screaming completely unable to silence myself. It was emotional agony, like I was being burned alive from the outside while simultaneously being snap frozen from the core. I felt an overwhelming sense of loss, despair...dread.
On occasion I would dream that I'd woken up...phew! It was all just a dream after all! I'd look over the bed for him, finding his spot empty...and the pain would again hit like a stroke of white hot lightning, rarely (thankfully) this cycle would repeat, again and again. Eventually of course I really would wake up and there he'd be, snoozing away...contented, relaxed, comatose...completely unaware of the drama that had unfolded in my head just a few feet away. I would start to move to him, still overflowing with grief and a very cold dense feeling of dread, to wake him for the days activities, afraid of course that he wouldn't move. He would sit up ready to go and full of life before I could even extricate myself from the blankets and all at once the fear that had so gripped me would evaporate...he'd go about his usual day as though nothing had happened because in fact, for him nothing had.
I started to fear sleep.
Rapidly I learned that if I slept only from absolute exhaustion I'd rarely dream, and so began the better part of a decade of self induced sleep deprivation. The day my partner died the screams that had previously been confined to that nonsensical space that is my subconscious I could feel as vibrations in my throat, only the most distant of sounds made it to my ears though I knew full well just how loud they likely were and rushed to stifle them lest the neighbours think someone had been murdered and come to investigate. (Protip: stifling uncontrollable screams with a pillow will make them stop just as you're on the edge of passing out, no air = no noise. Or at least that worked for me. YMMV.) It was some four years after his first painful episode that I said goodbye and if I foolishly gave in to that biological desire for a good nights sleep then the dreams were waiting for me, worse than ever for now he really was gone and waking would bring no solace, I was living my worst nightmare every single day.
In the year that followed his death I contemplated suicide every day without exception, I drew up detailed plans of a suicide apparatus (basically an electric chair). I started to self harm (oh, how relieving was the physical pain!) but was at least self conscious enough as to only burn where I could hide or explain away my wounds...how could I explain to anyone that I was going through this over a dog? A noise in my head, a constant roar like an impending tornado grew closer, more urgent each day...day in and day out.
Five years of limited sleep down. I was losing the plot.
It was at this point, realising I was in serious trouble and really had nothing to lose, I came out to a friend (with a backup plan if things didn't go well involving a nearby highway, a bush and a speeding heavy vehicle...) who as it happened didn't really approve of my "lifestyle" but thankfully, seeing the pain I was suffering and not actually wanting me to die, tolerated it all the same...in fact I got a good dressing down for not asking for help sooner. A few months later that friend arrived with of all things, an eight week old male large breed puppy, "I just hope he makes you happy". All at once the noise in my head softened, not muted but turned down from it's previous setting of 11. That first night, tucked into bed with that eight week old bundle of mischief was the first time in more than a year I felt safe...safe from myself.
It took several more years for me to re-learn anything like a good sleep pattern, the last two years or so despite being challenging in many other ways have been kind in the sleep and dream departments. I've watched that puppy grow into a beautiful mature canine, to the point that I love him as much if not more than my first partner - I like to think I chose to allow myself to do this (like I had a choice). Others have come and have lived out or are living out their lives here in what I hope is enjoyment but none have "fit" the way he has, he is special - not a companion but a life partner. This is of course a problem, he's seven years old now, his breed typically lives to nine. His mother passed aged 7, his aunt at 5, both from cancer. Other more distant relatives have passed in the last twelve months all from the same cancer, only one has made it to double digits. He's the picture of perfect health but...last month the dreams started again.
Last time I had no social network to speak of, no friend who knew what I was dealing with, absolutely nobody to talk to. I did have another dog but as many will appreciate another dog is just that - another dog, loved all the same but not a partner. This time I have a good network of friends, okay most of them don't know why I'm so attached to my dogs, I know a couple at least think it (have been told to "go fuck your dog" on more than a few occasions, I give them a blank look and say that it's the other way around) and one friend who knows all. This time will be different, it has to be.