+- Zoo Community & Writer's Guild (https://zoowg.org)
+-- Forum: Zoophilia discussions (https://zoowg.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=6)
+--- Forum: General Discussion (https://zoowg.org/forumdisplay.php?fid=38)
+--- Thread: Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters (/showthread.php?tid=858)
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - Dane layer - 07-11-2017
How many times have they gotten you into a situration that was humorous or other?
For me it was the day after i got my dane home. I left some of her stuff in the car, so i thought id be lazy about going out and get it, so instead of putting on pants i decide to just go out in my boxers. Well some how when i unlocked the door the dead bolt didnt go all the way in, and when i closed the door behind me it wasnt fully closed and it was at the moment that she decided it would be fun to go visit some of the neighbors. Keep in mind it was a warm weekend day and mainy a front door were open. so here i am chasing her around the street, in my underwear as she zigged and zagged down the street stopping at every other house till i got close then taking off again. Luckly she found something of interest on someones porch that let me finally get her.
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - silverwolf1 - 07-11-2017
I had so many, especially with Shadow.
I think the worst of many that lil' blind beauty pulled was when I, a middle-age male living alone, was in my yard talking to my new neighbors AND their 10 year old daughter, and Shadow decided it was the perfect time to run out of the house and right over to us, dancing in circles, with her bright blue VIBRATOR in her little mouth. Now, there were many excuses I could have made, including what Shadow really wanted, but none appropriate for strangers or a child, so I stammered "sorry" and began chasing Shadow to retrieve the offending toy, when she, easily outdistancing me, drops the vibe straight into the childs lap, running btw!
For the 4 years they lived next to me, the parents never again spoke to me! The child, as she grew older, snuck over frequently to play with the dogs, and loved to tease and remind me of the day "Little Shadow stole your toy instead of hers..." !
If she had known, that was indeed Shadows toy. Needless to say, I was red-faced for many years...
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - Hiway - 07-11-2017
Many Moons ago when "Hiway" was a young & handsome 154lb Male Rottweiler, we visited a nudist camp (Ponderosa Sun Club in Indiana) on an invitation from a local radio DJ who was hosting a weekend broadcast & get together there, free for his listeners!
I had to take Hiway with me because I had no one to watch him back home! It's was a fine weekend, mid 70's *F.
During a lull in activities, I took Hiway for a walk around the wooded area beyond the parking lot... whereupon we met a young couple also taking a quiet stroll out of sight from the other folks (wink wink). I'm sure they were contemplating having sex in the woods, they just hadn't found the right spot yet!
So we meet and they immediately begin swooning over Hiway, who is soaking up all the attention and pats/rubs. I'm casually answering the usual questions, (how old is he, how much does he weigh, what does he eat, etc.) when i notice the young woman is crouching and rubbing Hiway's neck while his head is drooping towards her crotch... and then noticing him begin licking her pussy area with enthusiasm! She has her back to the guy, so he can't see exactly what Hiway is doing!
As i correct him (calling his name sternly) and attempt to pull him back, she speaks up and say's "He's ok, he's not hurting me" [img]<fileStore.core_Emoticons>/emoticons/blink.png[/img]
I carry on talking to the guy and then suddenly notice he's getting a hard on... causing me to react to his girlfriends comment too by beginning to tingle down there too!!! Awkward!!!
I'm sure the guy and myself came to the same conclusion right then and said our pleasantries before things got out of hand!!! I practically had to drag Hiway away... LOL
When i looked back, they had retreated further into the woods... out of sight but i could hear them giggling and commenting on my HUGE Dog!
Thinking back, we should have exchanged numbers or something... I'm sure his girlfriend was dreaming about Hiway later... as i was dreaming about watching them! LOL
Did i mention the Sun Club was (still is) a "No Clothes" resort, not one of those optional things...!
[img]<fileStore.core_Emoticons>/emoticons/cool.png[/img]
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - Actaeon - 07-14-2017
I can't recall any embarrassing stories about my own animals that can compare with those described above, but I have had a few "close calls" where I was caught in flagrante delicto with another person's critter, but didn't get in trouble for it. I don't know if there's a name for such an event, but I decided to call it "being 'trouted'": caught (in the act) and released (without consequence). I'm not sure if such experiences count as "funny or embarrassing," but here goes:
1) About 30 years ago, while visiting my father's place of work, I saw an intact male dog outside a large building belonging to a neighboring business. I wandered over and began petting the animal, who lay down and let me gradually work my hand further towards his goodies. After checking to make sure no one was looking, I slid my finger into his sheath and began massaging the side of his penis (this was way before the Internet and before I really knew what I was doing when it came to groping animals). After a few moments of this, I happened to glance back over my shoulder to see a man standing in the doorway, his arms folded across his chest. As smoothly and nonchalantly as I could, I slid my finger out of the dog's sheath and said, "Oh, there you are. What breed of dog is this?" I forget what breed the man said the dog was, but he did answer me. Then he called to the dog, who rose obediently and followed the man into the building. The door closed behind them, and that was the last I heard of the matter.
2) About 25 years ago, after a neighbor and I had finished exercising a couple of his horses, we brought them back to his stable to let them cool down after the ride. As we waited, one of the horses (a gelding) began to relax his penis. When it was fully dropped, the neighbor remarked casually (but to my surprise) on how crusty it was and that he would need to clean it off at some point. When the neighbor went to get a couple of sodas for us, I walked over to the gelding and, using my bare hands, began to wipe off some of the smegma and flakes of dead skin. (I'm not sure, but I think this might have been the first time I ever touched a horse's penis, so despite the risk, I wasn't about to waste the opportunity.) I wasn't caught in the act (I think I remember being able to hear the man's feet in the gravel, so I had advance notice when he was approaching), but I've always suspected I may have cleaned the horse a little *too* well, enough for the neighbor to be able to tell the difference. If he noticed anything (like the guilty look on my face : ) he said nothing, but I'm pretty sure that was the last time he invited me over to ride the horses.
3) Also about 25 years ago (and, ironically, the day before I was scheduled to fly to my first zoo gathering in another state), I saw a dog trotting alongside the road on my drive home from work. I slowed down enough to see that it was an intact male. I was in a semi-rural area with lots of roadside vegetation and very little traffic, so I parked on the side of the road, exited the car, and called to the dog. I figured if anyone saw me, I could say something like "he appeared to be limping, so I stopped to see if he was okay." The dog was very friendly and came right up to me, so I wasted no time getting down to business. He was also...how shall I put this...a very productive animal. Not wanting to waste a drop, I made a drinking glass of my cupped palm, which he gladly refilled several times. In the midst of all this, one other vehicle did drive by: it didn't stop, but turned down a side road and disappeared. I was sure the vegetation had concealed my actions.
When the dog was finally spent and had withdrawn into his sheath, I sent him on his happily emptied way, in the hopes he would rejoin his family. I returned to my car and resumed my own journey home, a little stiff, but none the worse for wear. However, as I neared the side road where the other car had turned, I discovered that the vehicle had not continued down the road as I'd thought, but had actually stopped behind some tall, dense brush shortly after turning off the main road. After I passed the side road, the other vehicle backed up to the intersection, then turned and began to follow me. I made no effort to evade them, mainly because that would be the surest sign of guilt, but also because the dusty country road would have rendered the attempt pointless. The vehicle quickly closed the gap between us, presumably close enough to read my license plate, then slowed, stopped, turned around, and returned the way it had come. I was sure I would return from my trip to find the police waiting for me...but nothing happened.
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - Actaeon - 07-14-2017
Update (the edit window timed out): The following week, however, while driving the same route, I saw the dog again. It was at a house at the end of that side road, along with the very same vehicle that had followed me. It was *their* dog I'd been fondling. : )
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - Dane layer - 07-14-2017
Another time i had gotten a black eye from my husky. I went to visit a friend and took her along, well his place was two stories and the stairs lined up with the living room, my husky decided to want to play and would run up the stairs turn around and come full speed down and waiting for me to jump at her, which she would then jump left or right. This went on for a few untill she decided instead of left or right she woukd try to go over me. Well my face stopped her midjump and i ended up seening black for few seconds and having a small inch cut just below my eye and for all most two weeks a black eye. No one believed me that i got it from my dog
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - Actaeon - 07-15-2017
Quote:for all most two weeks a black eyeTwo weeks? Ouch. That's an awfully long time for a black eye to last, isn't it? And I can sympathize with your plight: I, too, have a female husky. : )
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - Dane layer - 07-15-2017
Quote:Two weeks? Ouch. That's an awfully long time for a black eye to last, isn't it? And I can sympathize with your plight: I, too, have a female husky. : )Not really sure if its long never had one before that
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - Ramseys - 07-15-2017
The time a ewe and I went out the door of the house, and a meter reader was standing by the power pole.
Funny/embarrasing moments with your critters - ferritlove - 07-15-2017
Quote:The time a ewe and I went out the door of the house, and a meter reader was standing by the power pole.Doesn't everyone have their sheep in to watch TV? What excuse did you give the guy?