My "sword" is under my kilt.
The man came into the psychiatrist’s office, lay down on the couch, and told the doctor he needed help ridding his mind of an obsession. “All I can think of, day and night, is making love to a horse. It’s driving me nuts.”
“I see,” said the shrink, rubbing his goatee. “Now, would that be to a stallion or to a mare?”
“A mare, of course,” retorted the patient, pulling himself upright indignantly. “What do you think I am, a pervert or something?”
Never leave home without a kiss, a hug, and an "I love you."
Then, remove the dog hair from your mouth as you walk to the car.
I've been on many jobs where a resident dog (or some other critter) is overly friendly towards me. The usual reaction from the client is, "Gee, (s)he sure likes you!"
Yes! This, exactly! Even meet at the door with a Great Dane for "protection", then say "She doesn't usually take to people like that, she has a litter in the back room". Then have to wade very carefully through the puppies to the back door.
Also interesting when the critter is a 750 Lb overly friendly sow that doesn't like to be ignored and makes herself right at home in your work space.