Jokes

[Ramseys]

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[threelegs]

10 hours ago, heavyhorse said:




I  believe it's a Tibetan Mastiff.  Not swearing to it, long hair breeds aren't my thing.  

I just looked up images of those, and I believe you're way off. He's definitely a dog, though, not a bear.

[DingoJay]

If I had to guess, I'd say maybe Chow and Husky.  Beautiful dog.  Those eyes!

[threelegs]

An old woman was sitting in her rocker by the fireplace one night when all of a sudden a genie appeared and promised to grant one wish. She thought about it for quite awhile then looking down at her faithful cat Tom, she asked the genie to transform the pet into a handsome prince who would love her forever. With a wave of his wand, the genie did as he was asked leaving the old lady and the prince to become better acquainted. Some time passed and the

old woman began making amorous advances toward the handsome young man who had only minutes before been seated at her feet. As she reached out to pull him toward her the prince leaned over and whispered in her ear "Now, aren't you sorry you had me fixed?"

[threelegs]

[threelegs]

Winter was nearly here and lazy Bear hadn't yet bothered to build a den. While searching for a home he stumbled upon Fox putting the finishing touches on his. "Well well! This looks cozy, thanks for building me my new home Fox, now scram!"




"B-b-but, that's not fair! I've spent weeks on this thing, you c-c-can't!" stammers Fox. "You should at least pay me some rent!"




"Rent? Hahahaha, rent my ass!", Bear laughs as he climbs in and get's ready for bed. "Now go away or I will I eat you." And with that, Bear curls up and goes to sleep.




A few months later, on the 1st day of spring, Bear woke groggily from his long sleep. The first thing he noticed was that his asshole was in pain. Looking back over his shoulder he sees Raccoon zipping up his pants! With an angry growl he grabbed Raccoon by the neck. "The fuck do you think you're doing???".




Gasping, Raccoon squeeks " .... ahhhh, Fox said it was OK, I paid him five bucks to have a go."




"WHAT?!" Bear roared, "that damn Fox! Well you stupid bastards shouldn't have waited so long, I ALWAYS wake up on the first day of spring."




"I knew I should have come earlier," whimpered Raccoon, "but the line was always so long..."

[threelegs]

[threelegs]

About the above ... I kyped it off FB, and after I posted it here I found it again and a commenter had said, "Click the image." Doing so revealed more script below the picture, commenting that blondes with Chucky tats would *always* be dangerous ... and the post has since been taken down.

[heavyhorse]

2 hours ago, threelegs said:




About the above ... I kyped it off FB, and after I posted it here I found it again and a commenter had said, "Click the image." Doing so revealed more script below the picture, commenting that blondes with Chucky tats would *always* be dangerous ... and the post has since been taken down.

They say they can go bad anytime regardless.




I guess we will see.  If the dog raised his bitch right, maybe the "Chucky" thing won't matter-- 

[Ramseys]