09-25-2022, 06:45 PM
An old lady lived alone with her dog.
She was cleaning the attic and rubbed a dusty lamp.
Out pops a genie who grants her three wishes: “One,” she said, “I never want to worry about money again. Two, I want to be young and beautiful. Three, I want you to change my best friend, my dog, into a handsome prince.”
Poof! Money appears. Poof! She’s beautiful again. Poof! Her dog becomes a prince.
They kiss and the dog says, “What a pity you had my balls cut off.”
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How do you know when you’re really ugly? Dogs close their eyes when they’re humping your leg.
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A man accidentally shot his duck hunting dog, so he asks his grandpa what’s the most important thing to look for in a duck hunting dog.
Grandpa answers, “A nice tight asshole, otherwise they get all waterlogged.”
So he goes to the kennel and starts shoving his index finger up all the hunting dogs’ assholes.
They were all too loose so he starts to leave when the owner says, “Didn’t find anything you like?”
He explains grandpa’s theory and the owner grabs a dog by the tail, lifts his rear legs off the ground and twists the dog’s balls three turns to the right. “Try it now. I had these set up for quail.”
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