05-05-2018, 04:10 AM
I gotta say I was damn upset when I wrote all that stuff last week. It didn't help I was drunk and on a drug (they say it's a dangerous combination but 'they' are a collection of parroting internet blogs) but doesn't matter much if I can still write lucidly, does it? For the record alcohol is terrible on the body and I avoid it and you should too. There are way better things. I would say "sorry" but I don't feel too torn up about it.
I am though fairly convinced he's dead because the story lines up well and medically. That said I still can't help but login every week. It's like a curse...
Quote:
8 hours ago, Cat said:
So you finally came into the same conclusion I did, even when you articulated it differently; I today came back to take a peek around, very pointlessly but I've got no other release when I feel "zooey", and as you can see people don't care, we cannot find each other, it's like if none of us existed; I cared, I tried to talk to cyno but trust doesn't take us anywhere, I offered him support but we both knew that it won't go far; so I eventually went away, because we are powerless, each one of us is, so I couldn't get to contact him, I was probably one of the last people to talk to rannoch when that happened, it pisses me up, this lack of unity, brought by the risks of being public. So you can blame the laws for that, and people claiming it has no effect, I call it BS, of course it does, do you have an idea how many zoos are scattered around? millions?!... yet each one in their own tiny bubble, wondering if they are alone; because even if they are in a community like this, they are truly still alone.
In the past I would have downplayed all those politics, because "zoo rights" was never my idea of a top priority issue for civilization, and a lot of the harm is long-term psychological (as in, manageable with time and social life). But when I see these guys like Rannoch and Cyno who didn't have too many friends left in real life (and I can only pray their families were there in the end; Rannoch is likely; Cyno I'm not so sure) - well just try to picture what your last moments would be... there's no "manning up" for that... it's doing more undeserved harm than I gave it credit for.
Quote:
8 hours ago, Cat said:
It is said that taking action speaks a lot about yourself, but also gets you in trouble, however you need not to take a toll on yourself for this, you want to act, but there's nothing you can do, so you drink.
I am probably more used to this than you nevertheless, so I can understand what you are going through to some degree; I once lost everything, and a lot of people died, I cannot go into details; but this powerlessness factor, and people's indifference is something that you can expect when there's a trust barrier, cyno's situation is sad, but with this scenario, where he is an unknown person living somewhere, what can I do?...
Some of the stuff I had to go through since 5 years has been cartoonishly horrid, out of this world, so it's not like I was born yesterday, it's merely in a different way of horror from all the horrors in the world - but a bunch of people dying at once is a different beast, and it took me by surprise, and worse, it's not going to stop - and if something that grave happened to you, I'm sorry to hear that, and I don't know where you're from but it's very possible you have more experience than me on that front, and on other fronts. I'm sure some 60-80 year old zoos have gone through watching all their friends die too - only it's not supposed to happen when you're half that age.
The powerlessness and indifference are two separate states of mind though. The prescribed medium we're forced to use certainly doesn't help the latter but it's not an excuse for it.
The community could always make better use of available (anonymizing) technology, to make communication more personal. The barriers to that have always been poor ease-of-use/accessibility combined with laziness and stupidity. In the end there's not much anyone could have done for Cyno except call him over voice... but that might have been of real value depending on his state of mind. You have to have been on that bed to get that fully. My hope is they put him on a non-stop morphine drip so he wasn't too distraught. That's how I want to go.
None of this is for the sake or arguing, I appreciate what you're saying, and this guy probably would too.
