05-05-2018, 11:55 AM
Quote:
7 hours ago, FoxDogCatWolf said:
I gotta say I was damn upset when I wrote all that stuff last week. It didn't help I was drunk and on a drug (they say it's a dangerous combination but 'they' are a collection of parroting internet blogs) but doesn't matter much if I can still write lucidly, does it? For the record alcohol is terrible on the body and I avoid it and you should too. There are way better things. I would say "sorry" but I don't feel too torn up about it.
I am though fairly convinced he's dead because the story lines up well and medically. That said I still can't help but login every week. It's like a curse...
In the past I would have downplayed all those politics, because "zoo rights" was never my idea of a top priority issue for civilization, and a lot of the harm is long-term psychological (as in, manageable with time and social life). But when I see these guys like Rannoch and Cyno who didn't have too many friends left in real life (and I can only pray their families were there in the end; Rannoch is likely; Cyno I'm not so sure) - well just try to picture what your last moments would be... there's no "manning up" for that... it's doing more undeserved harm than I gave it credit for.
Some of the stuff I had to go through since 5 years has been cartoonishly horrid, out of this world, so it's not like I was born yesterday, it's merely in a different way of horror from all the horrors in the world - but a bunch of people dying at once is a different beast, and it took me by surprise, and worse, it's not going to stop - and if something that grave happened to you, I'm sorry to hear that, and I don't know where you're from but it's very possible you have more experience than me on that front, and on other fronts. I'm sure some 60-80 year old zoos have gone through watching all their friends die too - only it's not supposed to happen when you're half that age.
The powerlessness and indifference are two separate states of mind though. The prescribed medium we're forced to use certainly doesn't help the latter but it's not an excuse for it.
The community could always make better use of available (anonymizing) technology, to make communication more personal. The barriers to that have always been poor ease-of-use/accessibility combined with laziness and stupidity. In the end there's not much anyone could have done for Cyno except call him over voice... but that might have been of real value depending on his state of mind. You have to have been on that bed to get that fully. My hope is they put him on a non-stop morphine drip so he wasn't too distraught. That's how I want to go.
None of this is for the sake or arguing, I appreciate what you're saying, and this guy probably would too.
Sadly indeed, but that's the effect of being in a platform of danger; there's simply a huge difference between say meeting IRL and having a couple of beers and figuring out both of us are zoo than some forum online; and that's why we got to lose contact with everyone once something bad happens; we can only assume that something bad has happened to him; and we got to move on, there's simply nothing we can do when there are such barriers on the way, it's sad, but true.
And well, I was a teenager then, I was born in a shithole country during the beginning of a dictatorship; 5 million people have escaped, including me; several thousand have died, and the government attempts to keep a dependency in them as in forcing an starvation state; I was kinda into shady slave labour for a while, until I broke free; I saw plenty shit, so I've learned to cope, but zoophilia was less of a taboo there where I was from, you could marry your horse if you wanted to, unoficially ofc lol, kids were proud of fucking their horses (it was weird), bunch of teenagers, so I am still getting used to this underground way of being whereas before a shitload of people knew I was a zoophile, it was a nice place before all that, it's sad overall; how politics can go to turn a normal beautiful 3rd world country to a complete shithole; gotta blame religion and communism for that one.
But yea, I guess, it's a different background, one that went from just a diverse community to become an ultraviolent community where everyone killed each other (and I mean it, I cannot remember how many times someone tried to kill me), some of my family members were killed; and a lot of this happens because of the needs people are going through; so you learn how people really don't care, how people act in desperation, and how people cope with this stuff. It is sad, but there's nothing you can do, you are powerless.
And that's the thing, I really cared of cyno, I wanted to be friends with the guy, just like I tried with rannoch (even when that took me by surprise), but he is unreachable, there's nothing I can do, there's just no difference from this and all the situations in the past; we are simply powerless to do anything, we got to move on, and appreciate the guy for what he was, even thought we know so little of him; but what can we do?... sadly only move on, and hope for the best for him.
And thing is that a tighter community can be obtained but only if there was no 5-year jail risk or some shit like that, because people can usually 99% of the time, detect who is trustworthy, it is a very accurate mechanism; but people here fear to give their numbers to talk, to keep in touch, or to make a meeting in germany (hell tell me if all EU zoos wouldn't just meet in germany randomly if there was no risk of a raid); with zoos is always a dead end because of that 1% of risk, it's like tossing a coin where you get a 99% change to make friends or a 1% chance of go to jail, none wants to toss that coin; the risk is too big for the benefits, toss the coin 100 times and you are fucked. And that is what kills the community?... that's what makes it not tight and people not to worry much about other's passing away, there's simply no community, we are all anonymous, we have the same values but we are not really close.
And if people want zoophilia to be mainstream, imagine what levels of coordination can be achieved in a tight community; so that as every person passes away his/her story can be told, or even as they get old and cannot be prosecuted anymore (a lot of us will get dementia and alzheimer, let's admit it); to tell real stories, not what the shit media wants to say, you see all the time these farmer or weirdo introverted stories, portrayed really bad; I am a fucking engineer, I am fit as hell, and highly extroverted, I came from the ashes of a dictatorship; and I am sure there are many of us that live what are successful normal lives or even exemplary lives out there; but the stories die with them, and it's only the losers that got nothing to lose that stand out; and this can be the key for normalization, the more exposition there is of something in the brains of the kids, the more they'll find it normal; and they are the next rulers and politicians.
