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4 hours ago, 30-30 said:
Ahem....can you imagine that fur and scent doesn´t play much of a role anymore when you´ve had it almost every day since you turned 16? But I know your perspective from the time before I went to a riding club; yet it quickly dwindled after fur and scent became an integral part of my everyday life...even moreso after I became a pro rider and lived most of my time around horses. It just becomes a non issue somehow...up to the point when friends say "you´re smelling like a horse yourself" and you are surprised to hear that simply because you don´t really smell it yourself anymore. Like a fish that has no grip of the idea of water...
So, why not humans? First of all, because I highly doubt there are humans with a "pure soul"...even Mother Theresa wasn´t that, even Ghandi wasn´t that although Mahatma translates to "great/ pure soul". My firm belief is that the ego keeps humans from developing a pure soul at all. Now you can ask "Why not another non human species?" I´ll answer that with one word: resonance. There´s something in horses that makes my soul resonate with them, something that transcends physical attraction. I can´t put it in word better that this, really. And how do you explain that: before I bought my first mare, I wanted to have a Cremello mare so bad. The white and pink appearance just fascinated me on an aesthetic and erotic level...but the mare I was with for 22 years of my life, my soulmate turned out to be a chestnut brown Hannover mare that completely differed from my "ideal mare". Also, why is it that I can meet mares I cannot even imagine being attracted to at all although they too have fur and smell like a horse smells? And , to be honest, those are the majority...so it obviously isn´t dependent on fur, scent and horse body for me at all. Why did it take only a second of eye contact with my Hannover mare when I helped unload her from the trailer to completely fall in love with her despite the fact that she wasn´t exactly what I was yearning for? In retrospective, that split second taught me more about love than anything else in my life...it´s absolutely not about body, fur and smell. It´s about personality...and that is what I´m falling in love with in mares. I´m attracted to self confident mares, to mares who have their own ideas, to mares who have bright eyes and a strong personality. Like two oscillating waves perfectly matching in frequency and altitude modulation so they become one indistinguable symbiotic and inseparable wave. I´m in my 40s and haven´t had that "click" moment with any human I ever met, only with mares ...and only with very few, select mares, to be precise. I could own a hudered mares, all with horse bodies, fur and horse scents...but to engage in a relationship, that isn´t what it takes for me. It takes more. At least for me. Thus I´m not really impressed by body and smell anymore...especially when we´re talking about a really deep connection/relationship. Even when I bought my other three mares who I had no interest in having sex with at all, I searched for that "self confident, yet playful" soul, that special kind of "aura". Because that´s the "glue" that makes me stick to a mare like my Hannover lady for 22 years without cheating on her even once although I´ve had more than enough chances to do so without negative repercussions. I even declined an "offer" from a Cremello mare once without hesitation...one of those I was so yearning for to sleep with in my beginnings. I really hope you will experience such a "click!" moment yourself...once you did, there´s no need to talk about body, fur and scent anymore and you will perfectly understand my point of view.
I hope so it sounds kind of cute and everything to feel that way, you sound like an old romantic dude speaking about his lover :p, but having never experienced what it is like to have a relationship I cannot say for sure what it is like to love; all what I feel right now is yearning, that pattern of attitude, colors, experiences, fur, scents, etc... I know what attracts me but I don't know how it would pan out in the practical sense, my contact with animals has been pretty limited, classic city boy who turns out zoo without even having had much contact with animals; all I have now is expectations, I am making my planning, but I find it to be painfully slow.
That saying I know the feeling of getting used to something to the point it feels like nothing, it's like filling a void; something you always needed to feel "normal"; the urges I get to be with an animal are somewhat really intense and bothersome, and affects my physical health, I want to cuddle to or before sleep, but I can't, so I remain awake, and sometimes I remain daydreamy about being with an animal in a current circumstance, usually good ones, like getting to the center of a forest, or climbing a large hill, and I'll want to share that moment, but that is not possible, and it seriously hurt, and the thing about being a zoo is that you can't vent out with anyone pretty much; it just seems everyone needs affection, but maybe once you get that, it's not like increasing your happiness or anything, but rather just filling a need you've got or who knows?... either to be frustrated with some outcomes or to be amazed at how much better some things are, for good or for bad, it is what it is, or rather, it'll be.
Whatever it is, it just hurts the lack of it, and I highly doubt a fetishist would feel that way; for a fetishist animals are a sexual toy, for me, they are much more; they are living beings with feelings and emotions, and I really want to share my life moments with an adventurous one of this kind, so we can go around together, explore forests, climb hills, conquer frozen landscapes, and eventually cuddle, mutual groom each other, and hopefully have sex together; if what I feel is not love, or a yearning for love, I don't know what it is.
PS. Wait you are a pro rider? [img]<fileStore.core_Emoticons>/emoticons/blink.png[/img]/emoticons/[email protected] 2x" title="O.o" width="20" />
