I don´t think you´ve become jaded, Silverwolf. You´ve just reached that point of clarity many older zoos occasionally reach when they had just too much of that "activism" bs and seen too much to continue pursuing illusions, illusions that don´t even have any benefit for our relationships. As I said, we´ve lost our true priorities and replaced them with something that pets the ego. That led us to the absurd situation we find ourselves in today.
I´d even say that at this moment in time, we couldn´t better our public image even if we wanted and used the appropriate, most promising ways available to generate understanding. Too much porcellain has already been broken and it will be decades before "zoophilia" does not evoke pictures of Pinyan, Spink, et al. I too believe we screwed up this to a point where it simply doesn´t matter anymore. Where the main focus of any zoophile should be completely restricted on building an environment that provides the maximum of safety for our animal partners. That is what really counts, not whether you can run around , yelling "I´m a suuuuh!" in everyone´s faces without any repercussions.
I made that promise to myself some 20 years ago, the promise to quit and pull out of all "zoo forums" when I will turn 50. That date is not too distant in the future and I will enjoy completely abandoning all that hassle and bickering about "zoo issues". I will use my remaining time on this planet for my beautiful ladies, especially my Tinker girl. I have this luxurious option because I understood very early in my life that I had to prepare the grounds early. In my teens, I was just an average guy with a strange sexual orientation, but no access to horses whatsoever. I had big dreams, but no idea how I could ever achieve them. And then I started to work for my dreams. Against heavy resistance from my mother, I chose to become a riding instructor. I worked my ass off , I somehow coped with the unfavourable circumstances in public boarding stables. And now I´m here, nearing my fifties, on my own farm, with my four ladies who always start a fight over who´s the one that gets the first and the longest scratches and cuddles when I enter the pasture to bring the "crew" back in. I look back onto my life and am thankful to the max that I haven´t shied away from the "years of bleeding hands" as I call my apprenticeship time. I had to clean 40 boxes every morning, from 6 AM to noon. Everything was worth it. I met my soulmate mare, had the blessing of 22 years with the most loving and loveable mare, no, female being and have served my purpose on this planet, that of being my mare´s guard and company. When I finally will leave this life, I want to go with a smile...and I will go with a smile. Life is fine.
