03-15-2019, 10:17 AM
There was a time I thought we might be able to get somewhere with at least being left alone but I really don't think things will be better than they are currently at least in my life time and I do think to a large degree we are our own worst enemy. I think we are too fragmented and too wilfully blind to ever actually move anything forward ourselves. The fragmentation doesn't really need explaining as anyone who has been around long enough will have felt it to some degree.
The wilful blindness covers the figures so many of us choose to attach to and follow. I have seen time and again in this community how figures who are toxic and should be avoided are held up in high regard despite whatever evidence exists about who they really are. Fausty was a good example of this. Several of us made an attempt to warn the greater community about him fearing someone might get hurt otherwise. No one wanted to listen and what happened? Someone not only got hurt but had their life completely and utterly destroyed. There are other examples besides Fausty - one of the current leading figures in the Telegram group scene is perhaps a good place to start with evidence of his past surfacing but being ignored by most. We really need to set ourselves free and separate ourselves from these people as no one will take us seriously so long as the loudest voices are those from nut jobs or convicted animal abusers.
As an aside here is a potentially unique insight I can provide -
The TLDR of my history for those who don't know is that upon discovering my sexuality (due to my carelessness) my family freaked out which led to the cops getting involved which led to me being arrested and losing my dogs. When the bestiality case collapsed the SPCA killed one of my dogs and rehomed the other before I could start legal proceedings against them to get the dogs back. Due to how things went with my family I was out - completely and utterly out. Everyone knew who I was. As a result of this I spent several years completely out. Whenever I felt myself getting close to someone I would tell them who I was. My reasoning was it would only be a matter of time before they heard about it so if I told them at least I could have some control over it.
I told maybe 7 or 8 people over a few years. None of them reacted badly, none of them pushed me away or treated me any differently than they had previously. There was some curiosity and I was happy to answer any questions. In a lot of ways it was very freeing to live like that. I moved overseas to the UK to start life fresh and when I arrived here I made the firm decision that once again I would revert to being "in the closet". As freeing as it was telling people who I am it just isn't worth the risk. It only takes one person to react badly and they can ruin your life. My own experience with my family and some friends I grew up with, went to school with, seeing me as an enemy or worse because of my sexuality will always be enough to prove to me that people on the whole are not ready. Some are ready and if we are lucky we'll wind up with some of those people around us. I remain good friends with most of those I came out to all those years ago despite the ocean that now separates us.
I suppose in closing I would say my experience tells me that you can land better if you are able to control your own outing but I'd strongly advise against anyone outing themselves because people aren't ready for us and it will only take one to ruin your life.
From a community stand point we are our own worst enemy and currently have no chance of getting anywhere. Unless and until we learn to see the forest for the trees instead of blinding following the loudest zoo we are doomed to keep screwing ourselves or worse. Not all zoos are good people and as a community we really need to get over the mentality that leads so much of us to believe that they are.
