Are we our own worst enemy?

[Equilibera]

I don't believe it possible to avoid cults of personality in any human community, especially when people are emotional about a topic and there are things (e.g. ideas) to be bought and sold. Relative anonymity certainly exacerbates things, but even in the lowliest meatspace communities you see the tribalization and faction-building that happens around vocal leaders.




I think that point is important, though: not all zoos are good. There needs to be gatekeeping (to a careful extent) and rallying around groups/leadership that are paragons of excellence, but that's hard to do in a community so highly marginalized and suppressed vis a vis "normality". Taking the high road almost seems pointless sometimes when everyone else outside of the community takes it for granted that you're in the gutter.




I too wonder what can be done to maybe set ourselves - and our good bretheren and sisters - up for future success in making strides towards a narrative shift in time. Certainly not the overly romantic marches and protests and all, but I think there is something that can be done. I think the best thing that we can do now is to become individually the best human beings we possibly can be. Treat our partners and nonhuman friends with the utmost (dare I say obsessive) dedication and care, stay under the radar and out of the spotlight, take care of yourself and your appearance, be happy, stay fit and healthy, keep some other human company, and try to subtly shift the frame of discussion for those other humans around us. Don't be a creepy, dirty, antisocial, abusive, loudmouth douchebag. You don't have to out yourself to make others begin to question preconceived notions, or at least get them to begin questioning what it could mean to be seriously emotionally invested in someone who isn't human. For every one you manage to hook, or at least give you a shrug and say "it's none of my business, to each their own", there's a possibility that they'll spread that idea to others.




Until we are ready to join up in real life (and I mean really join up, not just half-assing it), which may be a looooong time or even never, I think that every one of us is an ambassador. Even if the community is fractured, it just means that we each individually have to be responsible for the appearance of the whole, rather than defaulting to a larger entity to cover for us. Yes, the notion does yield some power to antisocial elements who will take it upon themselves to lead the charge and speak for others. But, if the quiet majority does way more positive work per unit time, such a system will tend to drown out the few toxic characters over the long haul.