06-10-2019, 02:39 AM
I've been going up and down emotionally over the past few months over PACT and the 2000s-2010s recriminalization wave in general in the US. I keep alternating between periods of despair, anger, and serious misanthropy, periods of feeling like my emotions are invalid or illegitimate, and periods of feeling determined and confident in spite of everything. Sure enough, though, the latter always end up way too transient and short-lived.
How do you all personally deal with the lows, the feeling of weakness that comes with social and cultural adversity like this? I feel so strongly like I want to fight back, but I know that I cannot and should not, and that feeling is awful. I keep finding myself drawn, in some kind of masochistic way, to reading comments and all the support for everything that has been done to spite us, in spite of us. I know that I should stop and just let it go, but my brain seems to be a serious glutton for punishment. I don't know.
I guess this is half to vent and half to seek advice from folks who have been in the trenches for a long time. I desperately want an enduring spirit of strength and peace in my life regarding my sexuality. Is there a path that truly leads there?
I keep fantasizing about a self-sufficient farm in the middle of nowhere, with acres of pasture, a herd of horses, and no one around for many miles...just "giving up" and ditching human civilization as much as I can...
