11-30-2019, 11:51 AM
For some folks, just the first step of getting past the idea that their depression (no matter how bad) is worse than any other and is insurmountable is a challenge. Many of us here have struggled with that first step, some repeatedly, and many have offered advice to other users on getting there.
The thing is though, all the advice in the World isn't going to do shit with-out the motivation to use it and the ability to put it into practice. It's a very personal journey recovering from depression. That last line bugs me when folks say it too, because you don't really. You gain the upper hand. You don't let it lead you, you lead it instead. But it's still there. Depression doesn't go away. You can decide what effect it has on your life though, to a point.
It's harder still when you have other mental issues going on. For me it's PTSD. Depression worsens with sleep deprivation, and constant nightmares see to it I sleep an average 1-3 hours a night un-medicated. Increased and unfounded fear, daymares, paranoia and anxiety help to limit social contact and activity thus increasing depression. I can only imagine what it's like for those with more serious mental health issues, or actually I can't and don't want to.
You'll notice another trend in this thread with depression, folks with it also chiming in on the other physical disability discussions. When you can't do things, especially when you have to depend on someone else to do them, depression worsens. It's hard to feel good about things when you can't even wipe yer own ass. I can, now. It took a long time, and a welder, but the pride of that adaptation working did a lot for my depression.
Grief. Believe it or not, my depression started before my physical condition deteriorated. In the 80s I was asked to leave the military because my physical condition there had dropped to where I could no longer function as a soldier. That's when I met Tippy. I could still hike with her 15-20 miles, train horses for a living, do most anything. It was her death in 98 that had me sunk into the deepest depression possible. Had me hating the sun. Had me feeling nothing. Had a gun in my mouth. Lucky for me, I had come online in 99 and met Big Al, and without really knowing it he talked me down.
Depression makes you sick. That's right. When you're depressed, you let the other health issues you have worsen and you get new ones, and you don't care enough to fight them. Neither does your body. Breathing issues are most common, and chronic pain follows. They worsen, and you move less because of them. Other systems begin to weaken from lowered activity, and immune response fails for the most simple illnesses. A common cold can lay you down for weeks.
Fighting this, fighting all this, seems impossible. It's not. Don't try to beat it in one day, or beat the depression as a whole right off. Set small goals. "Today I'm going to the store, alone." or "Today I'll get out of bed before noon." etc. and make them a daily habit. Slowly, you take charge and become boss of your own mind, hopefully for good.
Just my thoughts on the subject.
sw
