Anonymous Interviews

[caikgoch]

I'm searching for logic.    I have a folder named "Published" that is maintained on 3 separate machines.    I have paper copies from my school days 50 years ago.    This is how most writers and artists that I know behave, totally ignoring that all remember their public successes and can find even the deleted websites on the wayback machine to get copies.




Consider this a primer in the behavior of experienced Zoophiles.

[Anarchon]

Good for you. I don't like being reminded of how much I sucked before I got the general hang of it. I don't like keeping around stuff like 250 pages of a really bad work-in-progress fantasy novel in my first language that I worked on in my early to mid teens and never finished. I deleted that a number of years ago in one of the many purges. It always felt nice to leave the old crap behind. Like I said, I haven't published anything yet. This will be the first thing I do that with because this last half a year or so has been the first time in my life, when I have been capable of being continuously productive in a focused fashion.

It's not my habit to just randomly tell people about my personal problems for the sake of context, but if you want "logic", sure. For a significant portion of my teens I have been dealing with really bad depression and anxiety, I developed eating disorders with which I struggled for years, I've had persistent digestive issues and I'm still dealing with the remnants of that, and some of the resulting symptoms were chronic fatigue, brainfog, et cetera. Towards the end my mental problems even spilled over into a mild gender dysphoria that is fortunately completely gone now. In other words, being creative was exceptionally difficult. Usually I had at best a few months at a time, when I was just furiously creative and wrote all the time, writing a big chunk of a project and then everything ground to a halt again for one reason or another - typically my mental health going down the drain again and me being too tired and depressed to do anything productive. As a result, up until now I have never finished anything substantial like a book, only smaller things. I did get a fair amount of practice overall, but it never went anywhere. To contrast things a bit, I have first set the goal of writing a book for myself when I was about 15 I think. In the beginning of this year, I have done it again. I've said to myself that by the end of the year I'm going to have a book. And now I'm doing a second edit of the manuscript and adding sources. That's because my overall health is finally worth a damn and I can actually work on multiple things simultaneously. Like working a day job, as I have for 5 years now, and also writing in my off-time. I'm finally even remotely happy and looking back a lot of it feels like a surreal nightmare.

Because it may not be very obvious, here's another reason I have been quick to destroy a lot of my works. Like I said, I was very depressed a lot of the time, to the point where living just feels either like maddening numbness or just a whole lot of pain. That sort of thing invariably makes you pretty edgy as a person - and I was just that. So a significant portion of that stuff was just excessively dark in tone with self-serving extreme violence and all the rest of it, I was just venting at that point. Those are not the kinds of keepsakes I like to keep around either. I'm glad all of that is gone and I don't need any reminders of it, because in my normal healthy state of mind I don't like that sort of stuff at all. Though it's true that two of the stories I did keep so far are of the dark variety. But anyway, these past few years I've slowly been getting better and now I'm finally ready to do something. With or without you. And we both know it's going to be the latter.


I'm done with this thread, because no matter how much more time I commit to it, it's not going to go anywhere. That much is clear. There's only one way to prove all of you wrong and that is to put up. I'll keep this account and drop by when my project is done. Dunno when exactly will that be, but the sooner I stop writing exhaustive replies nobody cares about or really interfaces with, the sooner I'll be done with it.

Before I go, here's something I wanted to say. One of the reasons I'm doing this is because I can't stand looking at people like you (plural) - often good, decent people - living in perpetual misery and paranoia. Ever since I've joined my first community like this when I was about 13 I've been watching men living crippled by fear and unable - but typically also unwilling - to do anything about it. Bitter, lonely, resentful, terrified of everyone around them, often including their own families and human partners. It's quite the sad sight to behold and I mean that genuinely, not as a snarky remark. I have many reasons motivating me, but this is one of them. I'll be damned if I don't try to do at least something. I'll see you all when I do just that.

[silverwolf1]

You still give any who want to answer no time to. Impatience. Even Journalism is scientific if it is any good, and your questions were more in depth than simplistic, looking for averages and hard data as well as anecdote. 




Your posting has been questioned by two members out of hundreds and you're ready to quit. That alone is suspect. You could as easily ignored those two. For myself, I warned my membership, as I should, and explained to you why. I did not however impede your progress. You do that for yourself.




You assume much for the majority by looking at a vocal minority of the community by the way, or I should say several different vocal minorities as there are many who have different reasons for feeling either unreasonable or viable fears. My only fear comes from other "Zoophiles". They are the ONLY danger in my opinion, and always have been. That's not a paranoia. They are the cause of every new law in recent years. They are the cause of harm to every zoo I've known in the past 22 years that they didn't cause themselves.




I'm not afraid of the Government, they don't care what I do in my home or barn as long as I'm not shoving it down their throats. I don't fear the Law, they have real criminals to catch. I fear you, you're a fool whose Activism ideas threaten the safety of myself and my animal companions. And I fear letting any other "Zoo" know my real life identity as they can and likely will use it against me one day.




sw

[caikgoch]

Believe it or not, I'm trying to help you.    I've recently published my first attempt at fiction (a fantasy novella) in 50 years.   Fiction takes a completely different mindset which I am still learning.   I'm putting a rewrite with it in the coming week.   I want my readers to see how much I'm learning.   I'll take the "first draft" down in a while for simplicity's sake but the point is, if your too ashamed to show off your attempts, you'll never make it to success.   If you can't take criticism, you will never improve.




You think this is bad?   Try interviewing me.    sw1 is a wimp by the standards of many of the "good old places".    We did bare knuckles debate for for fun when the net was new.   Anybody remember the dot org?

[heavyhorse]

5 hours ago, Anarchon said:




I can't stand looking at people like you (plural) - often good, decent people - living in perpetual misery and paranoia. Ever since I've joined my first community like this when I was about 13 I've been watching men living crippled by fear and unable - but typically also unwilling - to do anything about it. Bitter, lonely, resentful, terrified of everyone around them, often including their own families and human partners. It's quite the sad sight to behold and I mean that genuinely, not as a snarky remark.

Whoo-ee.  I'm assuming in your early life you spent a lot of time in insane asylums?  With a few exceptions of youngsters trying to cope with who they have discovered they are, the vast majority of zoos I've talked to are pretty damn well adjusted, having in many cases deliberately checked out of Drama Central to enjoy the company of non-humans.  Those who keep their private life private (like reasonable people of any "orientation" do) and exercise good judgement have little to fear; those who create a public spectacle, social media channel, "rights" crusade, visible zeta tats, have only themselves to blame for what comes down.  And honestly, getting publicly combative about it probably means they want to create a fight/argument environment anyway.  There are some who live for the argument, they will make stuff up to argue about.  "Silly Putty is harder than Stainless Steel.  Pro or Con? "




And hey, your asking for exhaustive personal accounts, PM's, authentic experiences, first times, raw and real, etc. is starting to look a whole lot like the "Post your Fap Material here" threads on some of the other boards.  Just saying..... 

[gar]

Sure, interviewing others is an old trope on zoo boards.




Nearly all topics on zoo boards are pretty clichéd for anyone who has spent more than a few months reading forums.




But the cynicism and hostility towards Anarchon seems unwarranted. His request is forthright, and he is responsive and willing to discuss it.




Some of the best information about zoos has resulted from interviews of us on forums. The book Understanding Bestiality and 

Zoophillia was possible because zoos on Sleepy's Forest were trusting of Hani Miletski. I'd hate to think that the only place now to find zoos to engage with is a forum like Zooville that appeals mostly to non-zoos.




Anarchon's request is neither threatening nor an attempt to create wank material.




How about offering him the benefit of the doubt here, and perhaps even some kindness?

[cervids]

At least one of the interviews on reddit went well.




 




Granted, that's one out of like...  too many, but it can happen.

[silverwolf1]

<a contenteditable="false" data-ipshover="" data-ipshover-target="<___base_url___>/profile/2598-gar/?do=hovercard" data-mentionid="2598" href="<___base_url___>/profile/2598-gar/">@gar</a>  I've requested only patience of him. I have explained why I won't participate in one reply. That holds for any "Rights" campaigner, not just him, and was in direct response to his explanation as to why he felt he must pursue the course he was taking. Neither were 'unkind' and I don't doubt his motives. I just think his data is inaccurate and thus skewing his impression of the community and it's needs. I have however said he is free to pursue what he chooses to do here. I just won't encourage it.




I cannot, and will not, stop other members expressing their opinions of his plans or his motives. They have as much right as he to post their opinion. I will stop them from personal attack (ie: insult or flaming) . That is not allowed here. If no member other than you chooses to post in support of him or his efforts, I cannot help that. Such is the ways of a forum, as you well know.




As for his responsiveness and willingness to discuss, I've actually found him a bit evasive when asked about the previous works he's claimed, and that has raised some doubt about the current and his ability to carry it through. Just an opinion.




sw