Jokes

[threelegs]

Young Bill was courting Mabel, from the adjoining cattle ranch.




One evening, as they sat on Bill's porch watching the sun go down over the western hills, Bill spied his prized stallion humping one of his mares.




He sighed in contentment at this idyllic rural scene and figured the omens were right for him to put the move on Mabel.




He leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Mabel, I'd sure like to do what that stallion is doing."

Mabel whispered back, "Go ahead. She's your mare!"

[threelegs]

A cowboy shows up the morning of his first cattle drive. He notices a small flock of sheep with the cattle but thinks nothing of it. After a few weeks on the trail, he was watching the herd one night when he notices a drover go to the flock of sheep, pick one out, and take it over a hill. He brought the sheep back a little while later and went back to camp. The next morning, the cowboy asks the foreman about it.




The foreman says, "Well, it gets lonely out on the trail. Let's just say that sheep was his girlfriend for the night."




The cowboy is appalled and disgusted. "I would never do that," the cowboy says.




The foreman just rolls his eyes and says, "Just wait until we've been on the trail a few months. Everyone does it".




The weeks turn into months and the cowboy see many other drovers take sheep over the hill. Finally, one lonely night, the cowboy gives up and decides to do it. He goes out to the flock, picks a sheep, and takes it over the hill. When he comes back to camp, all the other cowboys are laughing at him.




 Embarrassed, he goes to the foreman and says, "I don't understand. You told me everyone does it. I've seen them all do it too!"






 Laughing, the foreman says, "Yeah, but you picked the ugliest one!"

[Ramseys]

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[Ramseys]

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[Ramseys]

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[Ramseys]

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[threelegs]

Mrs. Thurman visited the doctor to have him treat the bruises and contusions on her knees.




The doctor asked, "How did you get beat up like that?"




"It's from fucking doggie-style in the backyard."




"Don't you know any other sexual positions?"




"I do," she said, "but my German Shepard doesn't."

[HeartBeatOfTheBeast]

I love Ramseys goat pictures. Keep them coming!

[threelegs]

Did you hear about the Scotsman who found a new use for sheep? He gets wool from them.

[threelegs]

Not exactly a joke, but:




Don’t do anything that you’re not prepared to explain to a paramedic.