Jokes

[HeartBeatOfTheBeast]

My "sword" is under my kilt.

[threelegs]

The man came into the psychiatrist’s office, lay down on the couch, and told the doctor he needed help ridding his mind of an obsession. “All I can think of, day and night, is making love to a horse. It’s driving me nuts.”




“I see,” said the shrink, rubbing his goatee. “Now, would that be to a stallion or to a mare?”




“A mare, of course,” retorted the patient, pulling himself upright indignantly. “What do you think I am, a pervert or something?”

[threelegs]

Never leave home without a kiss, a hug, and an "I love you."




Then, remove the dog hair from your mouth as you walk to the car.

[Ramseys]

<a class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image" href="https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_08/5f424e5c48155_Humandick.jpg.510b60d6da07654a9d8cc3c065d1e538.jpg" data-fileid="4105"></a><a class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image" href="https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_08/5f424e6c0ffcc_Metme.jpg.9d52b90f1062bf7478c95e88d47d6977.jpg" data-fileid="4106"></a><a class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image" href="https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_08/Fastest.jpg.88e05576076adb17b9a9dc127be398cc.jpg" data-fileid="4107"></a><a class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image" href="https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_08/5f424ea240154_Rememberme.jpg.dfda9c0ad8094a25242c4f72b2a07ea1.jpg" data-fileid="4108"></a><a class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image" href="https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_08/Following.jpg.73f89ac820002c3db39821b2500d4cd9.jpg" data-fileid="4109"></a><a class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image" href="https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_08/5f424efd3eac3_Withahuman.jpg.ef3f7917d8c6c886b692030cbd44c365.jpg" data-fileid="4112"></a>

[heavyhorse]

7 hours ago, threelegs said:




Never leave home without a kiss, a hug, and an "I love you."




Then, remove the dog hair from your mouth as you walk to the car.

And it's not the least bit awkward when you go to a job and their dog shoves his/her head in your crotch.  




They can always tell..... 

[DingoJay]

I've been on many jobs where a resident dog (or some other critter) is overly friendly towards me.  The usual reaction from the client is, "Gee, (s)he sure likes you!"

[heavyhorse]

Yes!  This, exactly!  Even meet at the door with a Great Dane for "protection", then say "She doesn't usually take to people like that, she has a litter in the back room".  Then have to wade very carefully through the puppies to the back door.  




Also interesting when the critter is a 750 Lb overly friendly sow that doesn't like to be ignored and makes herself right at home in your work space.

[Ramseys]

<a class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image" href="https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_08/tumblr_nqui5uRTeT1r2goxbo1_1280.jpg.1dc20572c0204b25c6b1699db4edf906.jpg" data-fileid="4113"></a>

[heavyhorse]

1 hour ago, Ramseys said:




<a class="ipsAttachLink ipsAttachLink_image" data-fileid="4113" href="https://zoowg.org/uploads/monthly_2020_08/tumblr_nqui5uRTeT1r2goxbo1_1280.jpg.1dc20572c0204b25c6b1699db4edf906.jpg"></a>

Can a Bull outrun a Rhino?




 

[HeartBeatOfTheBeast]

12 hours ago, heavyhorse said:




Can a Bull outrun a Rhino?

Depends if the Rhino is in Heat.